Fall… into another season of Surrender
It's been a while…
We've been leaning back into a deeper hermit & slow down than I knew was possible for my life & the best way I can describe it … I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker on Lo for an extended period and I just keep reminding myself… really yummy food comes out pressure cooker. I've never dropped so much off my plate & trusted so deep that all things will just work out in every facet of life, and eventually on the other side of this mountain, life will flow in a new direction again. I've never grappled with guilt or shame while deciding to speak the truths I likely shouldn't so that maybe others can feel a little more human and free for feeling the things they feel in chapters of putting others needs first and being humbled over and over.
Without diving into details Reese is still living her best life, having the yo-yo's of end of life and while I reflect that a year has passed since I found the first tumour and started a deep process of coming to terms and living in the reality that we will eventually have to let go of everything and everyone in this world, and we will be forced to let go of everything the psyche is holding on to if we want to enter and complete these cycles with any sort of grace, love & compassion, not to mention sanity. It's a marathon I had no clue I signed up for, and not one I have always been proud of how I've put my training into practice along the way but we all get by with a little help from our friends, family, and a few prayers I haven't sent up in a good 10-20 years.
This season is one I realize I am very privileged to do in the way I am doing it, and yet it definitely is an extended dark night of the soul while I filter through all the things I haven't slowed down long enough to put nice pretty bows on… my entire life. I wouldn't change it for anything, as I think we all are given an invitation to enter these portals in our lives at some point & it's best we just go in blind & hopeful or we would never initiate the deeper truths of our soul.
My close friend reminded me recently that Death changes us, and that we will never be the same person when we let go of someone we love. It initiates us, and it doesn't matter who it is or how long we've known them, it's how we let it alter us and anchor in the reality of the natural cycle of life & letting go & reconfigure our priorities for the rest of life that remains, accordingly.
Between SPCA threats, endless food supply & starting to sprinkle some extra drugs in Reese's food – my parents have agreed to watch her one last time so I can come up and meet with all of you lovely souls before we re-enter our transitional mountain chapter.
I swear, one day I will write a newsletter that is so bright and uplifting from my beautiful home between treating & surfing… but until then, I'll remind you of the path we all must travel and all the truths along that path in the meantime while we create ourselves over and over to bring our soul desires into the 3D.
